Last week, I wrote about the excitement of freshly sharpened pencils, new supplies, new experiences. And while I still love those things, Back to School time is not all sunshine highlighters and rainbow markers for everyone. Or all the time. Here is my first ever vlog transcript about when it’s hard.
I’m going to open up and be a little vulnerable with you today. Sometimes, back to school time isn’t the most fun for everyone and sometimes those little bodies get emotionally dysregulated. And sometimes, these grownup bodies get a little bit emotionally dysregulated and it can be a challenge. And sometimes it’s hard when someone says “What’s wrong? How can I help?” and you just don’t know. Think of these little people who have been dealing with all brand new situations and direction after direction after direction and they come home to their safe space and they…melt. I am speaking from personal experience this week and last year and many other times, but it’s true what people tell me, even though I get frustrated. You’re their safe place. But what if I don’t want to be all the time? It’s hard! So I wrote this song when we were at a really peaceful lake over the summer, in Michigan, and I just watched the waves. I’m going to share a picture, because it just feels so serene to me.
But I wrote this song to remind myself that in those moments where I have a child who has had enough, it’s really not helpful to ask “What’s wrong?” “What can I do? Let’s talk it out,” because in that moment, all they need is us to just be there. And so I wrote this song from a perspective of someone who maybe can’t tell you “I had a hard day, because of (this reason)” or “I had a tough time, because of (this)” or “I feel angry, because…” Maybe they can’t communicate that. Maybe they don’t know how to put it into words. Maybe they don’t know why their body’s responding that way. But sometimes, it’s enough and it’s exactly what they need to just be with them.
I tried so hard, but I just couldn’t do it
I tried so hard, but I didn’t get too far.
I need some love, but I can’t really show it
‘Cause all these feelings are weighing on my heart.
Just be with me, just be with me
I need some time, please don’t ask why
Just be…with me.
And this one is a real simple one to add in something else if your child needs a specific thing. My kiddo LOVES hugs. Can I sing it that way? Absolutely.
Just hug me, just hug me
I need some time, please don’t ask why
Just hug…me.
Now I’m going to get real vulnerable here. The second verse is one I wrote for the grownups. It’s something I wrote for myself. Sometimes I can’t answer “What’s wrong?” “How can I help?” “How can I assist you in calming down?” I don’t know! I really don’t know. Sometimes just your presence is exactly what I need in this moment. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing. We can be sitting here watching tv. We can be sitting there working on our own independent projects. We can be taking a walk around the block. We can be taking a walk up and down the aisles of Target. And that’s what you need in that moment is you crave that support and that attention. So this next verse comes from a place of when I feel my own personal failures and it seems like a reflection of my character. So verse two, shoutout for the adults…
And you’re seeing a failure live on tape, because I’ve already forgotten the words, because I’m so nervous about this. But I’m gonna get it together here in a second and I’ll bring it to you. (deep breath)
Was it my fault or some misplaced expectations
That I have failed at what I set out to do?
Am I a failure now or am I still me?
I need somebody who’ll love me as I am.
Just be with me, just be with me
I need some time, please don’t ask why
Just be…with me.
Thanks for being patient with myself while I collected my thoughts. But there, I did it! I love to show my students in real time when I make mistakes and how I respond, so now I’m being SUPER vulnerable and leaving this video unedited to show you. So I hope you have a wonderful day, but if you don’t, it’s ok. You’re doing great! Listen to the song again. Here’s one last chorus for you.
Just be with me, just be with me
I need some time, please don’t ask why
Just be…with me.
